YANKie Dooooodle

The Hostile 1^st Class Warriors

I was wondering today why I always preferred to get into the 2^nd class even when I possessed a 1^st class pass...So I took up the challenge and stood on the platform allocated to the proud and pompous 1^st class travelers....

The women who looked cold and detached suddenly surged like a wave towards the train compartment in complete disarray and started knocking everything on their way with their pointed elbows, just for a mere place to stand in the swarming train which was overfull with bodies, all stinking of a mixture of very pungent perfumes.

Even in such a pathetic atmosphere people still tried to maintain their cool and composed features, and looked upon the world as if they were the 'Gods of creation'.

As I didn't have a place to hold, I quickly held on to a handrail behind a woman standing... The next few minutes she kept fidgeting and muttering something which meant she was getting irritated...... Then when her control was beyond her capacity, she burst out " PL hold somewhere else!" I told her that there was no other place, and that I was at a much more uncomfortable position than her. She then stopped talking coherently, but just continued to make the sounds and objectionable faces... I then started wondering whether to tell her that this was not her 'private chartered jet', but a local train.... But then I knew that saying this would just fuel her submerged fury.

There were a few kids who got into the train who were possibly not possessing a 1^st class pass, the moment they reached up to climb in, they were bombarded with yells and loud screams which when deciphered said ," Tere Baap ke paas paisa nahi hai to bhi 1^st class per cherthi hai!", another , " 2^nd class mein charhney ko sharam ati hai kya tujhe?, besharam paisa nahi hokar bhi 1^st class mein ati hai"....

One of the ladies were old and she kept looking to me for some further support for her verbal abuse, but I continued to maintain a very neutral look...

The poor girls who got into the compartment never uttered a word and didn't even look into the proud evil faces staring down at them.

Next I got a place to sit on the 4^th seat... people always sat on the 4^th seat in crowded 2^nd class, but in 1st class this again meant requesting them to "PL shift" and receiving scorns in return. So I began with a very pleasant smile," Pl could you shifty a little", to a lady who looked me as if i were a germ, then after a long appraisal of me, replied , "Tell 'her'", meaning the other woman beside her...So I repeated in the same tone to the other woman as well, who then replied " Tell 'her'" which meant the woman sitting on the window seat, and when I told 'her ' as well, she told me "there is no place"... and slumped her bag back on the seat near the window and herself. They just wouldn't budge... even if there were a pregnant woman standing near them, no one would get up and offer her a seat.

Another day I happened to witness another such battle... A girl happened to tell a lady to move a little, so she could sit on the 4^th seat, and the lady told her with raised eyebrows and her eyes half shut, " This is 1^st class, and sitting on the 4^th seat isn't the norm here" she went back to reading her book, without even trying to shift her butt one inch.. The poor girl who asked for the seat just smiled at her an told her , "Im sorry, i was not aware..." and moved away.

At this point, I, always in the mood to do justice, yelled back, " Humanity is also a norm in 1^st class, is it?" To which the rest of the women, just looked up at me for a second and continued on their previous activity. Again, unable to contain myself, I repeated again, "Humanity is not a norm, be it 1^st class or 3^rd class. And paying 600 Rs instead of 100 shouldn't make you inhuman,"

I really wonder what makes these people so very insensate and inhuman... When humans no longer have humanism, we must question the very word "humanity" as it is also derived from the word "human". So what are humans anyway, are they mutated when they enter into the 1^st class?

So here goes the unwritten rules for the 1^st class:

1. You can't get to sit on the 4^th seat without hearing some whispered complaints, and some vicious glances.

2. You must never wear old clothes or a "burkha" and look ugly, when you get into the 1^st class, surely you will be asked to show your pass/ticket.

3. You will be kicked many-a –times by women who cant keep both their feet on the ground, and sitting cross-legged is the only way they sat right from birth.

4. Telling them to move their feet a little away will only provoke some submerged violence or be ready to be told that, You were actually trying to touch them, even if you happened to be their same gender.

5. Even in a crowd , when there is not even enough place to stand, god forbid if you happened to touch anyone, or their belongings, you would be stung the next minute.

6. A new rule has been added recently, after the movie "Slumdog millionaire " gained popularity. If you happened to do anything wrong in your stay in the 1^st class, you maybe called "Slumdog, Bitch!" immediately.

_Amritaa